New Years Resolutions

The New Year always amuses me because of one thing: New Years Resolutions. I love watching people get all geared up for something for about a week, then at the first possible convenience, got back to their old habits. Besides, why do they wait until January 1 to start this crap? Couldn't they have started losing weight in December? Did they have some sort of revelation on New Years Eve that smoking is bad for them?

When I went to the gym on Tuesday I had to laugh at all the people there. Usually, on a busy day, there are 15-20 cars in the parking lot. On Tuesday there were over 40. Yesterday, we were back down to about 35, so I figure it won't be long until everyone decides that losing weight is just too damn hard.

Now I really never make New Years Resolutions, but if I did here's what they'd be:

1. Continue to go to the gym - I've been slacking off the last month
2. Stop spending money frivolously - Damn! No more $1.99/min. to call those 976- numbers
3. Play more poker - I enjoy the game and could probably get good at it. Of course, this is a direct violation of #2
4. PRACTICE guitar - Playing the intro to Sweet Child O' Mine 100 times a week is not practicing. Neither is playing Guitar Hero for PS2.
5. Go to church on a regular basis - At this point I need all the help I can get
6. Find a nice girl and settle down...or maybe just date casually...or maybe a not-so-nice girl...screw it, I'll just get a dog.
7. Update this blog more than once a month

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

From time to time, we all have those dreams where we go "What the heck was that?". It's usually "Why am I dreaming about THAT person?", or "Why am I running around my high school naked?". Lately, I've been so exhausted that I either haven't been dreaming or just haven't been able to remember any of them. Over my Christmas vacation though, I was able to catch up on some sleep, which caused me to have this weird-ass dream the other night:

I'm running through the city (don't ask me what city because I have no clue), somebody is chasing me and its raining. I'm able to get away from the person who's chasing me as they get caught up in traffic, so I start running up this hill that has all these stores/restaurants on it. I figure I can duck into on of them to escape this person.

So I go into this place that's like a futuristic Dave and Busters. It's a circular building with different stations as you go around the circle. At each station there a bunch of guys drinking beer and playing some sort of video game like a golf simulator, only with baseball. You actually get a baseball bat, a ball is pitched and you get to whack it, and depending on where you hit it, it tells you out/single/home run/etc. (Side Note: I can't believe somebody hasn't invented this yet). So I grab a baseball bat and try to hide in a corner.

A few seconds later the person chasing me comes in carrying a gun, and I finally can identify who it is: a girl I went to high school with named Laura. Now, I haven't seen Laura more than a handful of times in the past 8 years, but apparently she wants to kill me. She doesn't see me, so I take the bat, raise it above my head, swing,.....and find out that I'm just as big a pussy in my dreams as I am in real life. I must have Tyrannasoraus Rex arms or something because not only can't I even make good contact with her face, but I'm swinging like a 5-year old girl with muscular dystrophy who spent her entire life in Auschwitz. So, I'm on the run again. I leave the building, get into a car and drive off to....a parking garage.

It was at this point that I (thankfully) woke-up. If dreams are supposed to mean something, I would love for someone to tell me what the F*** this meant.