YouTube

I just discovered this YouTube thing. Ok, maybe discovered is a bad choice there. I knew what YouTube was, I had linked to several videos on it, but for some reason I never drew the connection that "Hey, I can search for cool videos on here". So yes, I may have a learning disability.

Anyway, there is a lot of cool stuff on there. If you're into live music, they have some kick ass live performances. I was up until 12:30 last night just surfing around going, "I wonder if they have (insert band here) playing (insert song here) ." Ok, so maybe Guns N' Roses was in 90% of my searches, but even being a huge GNR fan, I found stuff I had never seen before.

So, if you're interested, check it out. I would highly recommend Axl and Elton John doing Bohemian Rhapsody at the Freddie Mercury Tribute. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoYkSbXt8ro).

Gotta run now. I need to see if I can find any more versions of November Rain.

Why Are People So Selfish and Jealous That They Ruin Things For Everyone?

The original title of this post was going to be "Why Do Women C*ck-Block?", but my friend/editor Lindsay made me have a change of heart. I guess it is unfair to categorize all women as C-Blockers, and men could certainly fall into that category as well (though from my experience, its always women). Also, "C-Block" has a sexual connotation (Lindsay thinks its vulgar), so we'll stick with "Ruin Things For Everyone".

Now that that is out of the way, back to my question...why do people do this? For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you the scenario...Person A is a female. She goes out with her friend, Person B, who is also a female. Person A meets Person C, who is a male (or female if she's into that sort of thing), and the sparks start to fly. Person B then, for whatever reason, does everything in her power to keep Person A from doing anything with Person C. Everybody have it now? Good.

The usual reason that is given for this is that Person B is just "looking out for her friend." Good for you. How chivalrous. But where the f*ck do you come off thinking that you know what is good or bad for that person? What kind of pathological disorder do you have that puts you on that big of an ego trip? Look at you, you're the puppet master!!! Dance, puppets!! Dance!!

Let's get real. The reason people do this is because they are flat out selfish and/or jealous. When they go out, they want all the attention, and when someone else gets it, they get pissed off. Look, I understand. I've been out with my brother many of times where some girl has picked up on him and not me. It sucks. But do I intervene and ruin it for him?? NO!! Good for him. He lived with me for a summer, and he could have brought anyone back to my house (short of a member of the Manson family) and I wouldn't have cared. He never did, but I would have been happy for him.

So, for those of you who think you might be Person B, and don't know what to do in that situation, follow my lead: Recently, I went out with 2 friends, a guy and a girl. As the night progressed, they started hitting it off and were kind of doing their own thing. That left me all by myself. So what did I do?? Absolutely nothing. I let them do their thing, and I did mine. Are these 2 people going to get married? No. Could they end up regretting this someday? Maybe. But my take is to let everyone make their own choices in life. If they wanted my opinion, they would ask me. But until then, they can do whatever they want.

Take that Mighty Mouse...

For the past week and half, I've had a rodent problem (insert beaver joke here). There's been this mouse running around and its really pissing me off. The little thing poops all over the place and has already ruined a bag of Doritos.

So, last week I went out and bought some mousetraps. When I got to the store, I saw they had a "new and improved" mousetrap, so being the sucker that I am, I bought it. These traps basically look like giant clothes-pins. You squeeze the one end together, which opens the "mouth" where you put the bait. It then locks in place and when the mouse goes for the bait, the "mouth" closes and kills the sucker....in theory. Then, you just have to simply squeeze the other end together to open the "mouth" and drop the mouse in the garbage. Simple, right?

Well, on my first attempt, I put a little bit of peanut butter in both traps, placed them, and went to bed. When I woke up, the peanut butter was gone, but no mouse. So I tried again: add peanut butter, place traps, go to bed....no peanut butter, no mouse. So then I start experimenting. I'll put more peanut butter on. I'll put less peanut butter on. I'll put a piece of cracker in the peanut butter. I'll stay up late at night with a baseball bat. Nothing works. I was ready to buy the old Mouse Trap board game and set that thing up.

So now, I'm starting to get pissed...and a little worried. I've been feeding this thing for a week now, and I figure it must be 4-feet long by now. I was starting to have visions of waking up with this thing gnawing on my face. So I decided that I was going to screw these new mouse traps and go buy some old-fashioned ones. I didn't even bother to bait the traps last night.

So of course, I come home today and lo and behold, I caught the f*cker. Apparently, it got so used to me feeding it every night, that it kept coming back for the peanut butter. It must have been poking around for it, and sprung the trap. So I can sleep easier now.

I was wondering if the same thing would work on humans. My friend Damon brings in doughnuts to work every Friday. I'm going to see if he'll leave them at home one of these weekends and set a giant bear trap in their place. Boy would I love to see some people get caught in that thing. Of course, that would mean that I wouldn't get any doughnuts that day, so I may have to rethink this....

Here we go again

I know its still a little early for Halloween, but I figured I'd get the ball rolling this weekend by pretending to be a Penn State fan. That's right folks...for the second year in a row, I will be heading up to State College to actually root for Penn State. I will again be blindly following hoards of people who still think the Nittany Lions have the best football program in the country. (Wake up people...PSU hasn't won a national title in 20 years. In that time, Miami has won 5, Nebraska 3, Florida St. 2, USC 2.)

Anyway, I don't actually go to these things for the game...I go for the tailgating. Last year, Aaron's friend Will had the most awesome tailgate I've ever seen, and I'm hoping to crash it again this year. Once the game starts though, I will really root for Penn St. Even though I refuse to wear blue and white (last year I wore brown), I will cheer them on like everyone else. And since I'm not a big Michigan fan, it should be even easier this time around.

But come Sunday, don't expect me to be all rah-rah if Penn State wins.....the alcohol will have worn off by then. But I figure for one day a year, why not??

Home Sweet Home

Last night, my friend Steve talked me into going out back in my home town. Now it had been probably about a year since I last when out there, so I forgot how lame it was. I quickly remembered:

Steve wanted to go early, so I got to Reifer's Bar (I'm not making that name up) around 8:30. When I walked in, I noticed 2 things: 1) Steve was the only person there, and 2) the screen door leading into the bar didn't have a screen. So you could literally walk THROUGH the door, which I did several times that night.

Now for those of you who have never been to a small-town bar, there are only a few things you can do there. You can drink. You can play pool. You can play darts. Since I'm no good at the latter two, I stuck with my strength: drinking. Another thing about small town bars is that everything was insanely cheap. If it wasn't for the $5 cover that I would later pay, I would have only spent $10 for the entire night.

So back to Reifer's....After a while there, some more people trickled in and we heard that there was a band at the Elecric Avenue, the "up-scale" bar of the area. Now saying that the Electric Avenue is the "up-scale" bar is like saying that Blanche was the "hot" Golden Girl. But we went there anyway, hoping to find a better time. We didn't. After being there about an hour, a guy came around to collect the $5 cover. We paid it, the band started, and we quickly realized that 1) The band sucked, and 2) Nobody was there. So we split after 4 songs and went back to Reifer's, $5 lighter.

On the way back, Steve decided he needed cigarettes, so we stopped at a convenience store. Inside we found some visibly intoxicated people who were raving about the awesome DJ and dancing going on at the Alley Popper. Hmmm, that sounded like a good time, so we went there. When we walked in the door, we found that there were literally 6 people there and only 2 were dancing. So as to not look like fools, we got a drink then left.

Back at Reifer's, we walked THROUGH the door, hung out for awhile, then I took off, vowing to never come back for at least another year.

WTF??

This past weekend, when I was out in Harrisburg, I broke the seal early like I always seem to do. I ended up in the men's room that had 3 urinals, each separated by a little wall. I was just finishing my business when a bigger guy came in and went to the stall 2 down from me. He set his beer on the urinal, got himself situated and looked down in the area of his crotch. Upon seeing something down there that must have been shocking to him, he uttered a very quizzical, "What the f*ck??". I got out of there before he figured out what was going on down there.

What in the world could he possibly have seen? I look down at my crotch several times a day and never have I seen anything that warranted a "What the f*ck??". Was he missing something? Did he all of a sudden have too much of something? My personal theory is that he happened to actually catch a glimpse of Aaron (and his shy bladder) actually using a men's room.