Take that Mighty Mouse...
For the past week and half, I've had a rodent problem (insert beaver joke here). There's been this mouse running around and its really pissing me off. The little thing poops all over the place and has already ruined a bag of Doritos.
So, last week I went out and bought some mousetraps. When I got to the store, I saw they had a "new and improved" mousetrap, so being the sucker that I am, I bought it. These traps basically look like giant clothes-pins. You squeeze the one end together, which opens the "mouth" where you put the bait. It then locks in place and when the mouse goes for the bait, the "mouth" closes and kills the sucker....in theory. Then, you just have to simply squeeze the other end together to open the "mouth" and drop the mouse in the garbage. Simple, right?
Well, on my first attempt, I put a little bit of peanut butter in both traps, placed them, and went to bed. When I woke up, the peanut butter was gone, but no mouse. So I tried again: add peanut butter, place traps, go to bed....no peanut butter, no mouse. So then I start experimenting. I'll put more peanut butter on. I'll put less peanut butter on. I'll put a piece of cracker in the peanut butter. I'll stay up late at night with a baseball bat. Nothing works. I was ready to buy the old Mouse Trap board game and set that thing up.
So now, I'm starting to get pissed...and a little worried. I've been feeding this thing for a week now, and I figure it must be 4-feet long by now. I was starting to have visions of waking up with this thing gnawing on my face. So I decided that I was going to screw these new mouse traps and go buy some old-fashioned ones. I didn't even bother to bait the traps last night.
So of course, I come home today and lo and behold, I caught the f*cker. Apparently, it got so used to me feeding it every night, that it kept coming back for the peanut butter. It must have been poking around for it, and sprung the trap. So I can sleep easier now.
I was wondering if the same thing would work on humans. My friend Damon brings in doughnuts to work every Friday. I'm going to see if he'll leave them at home one of these weekends and set a giant bear trap in their place. Boy would I love to see some people get caught in that thing. Of course, that would mean that I wouldn't get any doughnuts that day, so I may have to rethink this....
So, last week I went out and bought some mousetraps. When I got to the store, I saw they had a "new and improved" mousetrap, so being the sucker that I am, I bought it. These traps basically look like giant clothes-pins. You squeeze the one end together, which opens the "mouth" where you put the bait. It then locks in place and when the mouse goes for the bait, the "mouth" closes and kills the sucker....in theory. Then, you just have to simply squeeze the other end together to open the "mouth" and drop the mouse in the garbage. Simple, right?
Well, on my first attempt, I put a little bit of peanut butter in both traps, placed them, and went to bed. When I woke up, the peanut butter was gone, but no mouse. So I tried again: add peanut butter, place traps, go to bed....no peanut butter, no mouse. So then I start experimenting. I'll put more peanut butter on. I'll put less peanut butter on. I'll put a piece of cracker in the peanut butter. I'll stay up late at night with a baseball bat. Nothing works. I was ready to buy the old Mouse Trap board game and set that thing up.
So now, I'm starting to get pissed...and a little worried. I've been feeding this thing for a week now, and I figure it must be 4-feet long by now. I was starting to have visions of waking up with this thing gnawing on my face. So I decided that I was going to screw these new mouse traps and go buy some old-fashioned ones. I didn't even bother to bait the traps last night.
So of course, I come home today and lo and behold, I caught the f*cker. Apparently, it got so used to me feeding it every night, that it kept coming back for the peanut butter. It must have been poking around for it, and sprung the trap. So I can sleep easier now.
I was wondering if the same thing would work on humans. My friend Damon brings in doughnuts to work every Friday. I'm going to see if he'll leave them at home one of these weekends and set a giant bear trap in their place. Boy would I love to see some people get caught in that thing. Of course, that would mean that I wouldn't get any doughnuts that day, so I may have to rethink this....
posted by Michael at 6:18 PM
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