Disclaimer

I was walking through the pharmacy section of Sam's Club yesterday, and I stopped to look at a bottle of Hydroxycut. For those that don't know, Hydroxycut is a weight-loss supplement that was big back when ephedra was legal. Reading the label I noticed the following information:

• Supports Weight Loss*
• Increases Energy*
• Boosts Metabolism*
• Ephedra-Free

* These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.....Regular exercise and proper nutrition are essential for achieving your weight-loss goals.

What the hell is that? Here's what I get out of it: 1) None of this stuff (other than ephedra-free) has really been tested, but we're just going to say it does them, and 2) This will only work if you exercise and eat right, which will cause you to lose weight regardless of the damn pills.

Isn't this wonderful? Imagine if all products were like this. For example, what if condoms had disclaimers on them: "Guaranteed to work if you never have sex"? How about seat belts: "For best results, don't wreck your car"?

Well, it just so happens that I'm about ready to market a new product. I've been keeping it quiet for awhile, but I think its time to let everyone in on it. Every guy wants to be more attractive and increase they're chances of having sex. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Iso-Mex the product guaranteed to get you laid*

* For best results use when with a hooker.