Dynasty

For the 3rd year in a row, my team has taken home the volleyball championship....Ok, church volleyball championship. Not quite so impressive now, huh? When I started playing about 10 years ago, there were a lot of good teams. Teams would play "real volleyball"--pass, set, spike--and it was usually a toss-up between 5-6 teams. You actually had to be a decent player to have a chance.

Lately though, my team, Holy Trinity (there's a name that will put fear in your hearts), has dominated. We're the only team that plays "real volleyball" consistently, so we basically just beat up on young kids and old ladies. Pretty pathetic, huh? The things I have to do for an ego boost....

Anyway, we finished the year with a 32-1 record, and won our 4th title in 6 years. So, congratulations to Jamie, Megan, Steve, Ben, Craig, David and myself for proving that God likes Catholics the best.

Friday Night Encounter

I had a strange encounter Friday night...I was driving on Plank Road, going towards Greenwood and got stopped at the light by the 17th St. Sheetz. An SUV pulled up beside me with two girls in it. I made eye contact with one of them, and then looked away. These situations always make me a little uncomfortable. What am I supposed to do? Start shouting across traffic?

Well, I guess that IS what you're supposed to do, because a moment later, I heard their window go down and somebody shout "Excuse me, what kind of radio do you have?". Now I have a Sirius satellite hookup that shows the name of the song and band in brigher lights than in Vegas, so she must have seen that. Well, it turns out that "she wants one", "she's jealous of me", "it's so cool"...oh, and "do you want my number?" By this time, I had deduced that these ladies were probably about 19. There is absolutely nothing wrong with 19, but I've made a rule with myself that 21 is the minimum. So, at this point, I'm skeptical.

So, by now the light as turned green and we're driving on Plank Road, and she's shouting her number out the window. I had no way to write it down, so I promptly forgot it. It started with a 9 if somebody wants to try to figure it out....Oh and her name was Dee, but I'm not sure because by that time we were doing 45 and the wind was whipping pretty good. They turned off, I turned off later, and that was it.

Ok, throwing all the age crap aside, these girls were fairly decent looking, with the driver being more my type than the passenger. I had no conversation with the driver, just he passenger. So, given the proper situation--at a bar (not the highway) with girls old enough to remember the Reagan administration--what is the proper way to move from a girl to her friend? You've been talking to one girl, but you REALLY want to be talking to her friend. Is there a tactful way to pull that off? Or do you just screw tact, and blow the first girl off? Or do you just give up, and get a good drunk on?

Average Joe

Have you ever heard of any of these people: Jeff Posey, Kevin Mench, Dudley Hart, Nathalie Dechy, Steven Reinprecht, Paul Goldstein, Antonio Daniels, Tina Barrett. What two things do these people have in common? 1) They are all incredibly average at their profession. 2) They all make more money than most of us will ever hope to make.

The most recent issue of Sports Illustrated has an article about what the average professional makes in the major sports (in order of the above athletes--football, baseball, men's golf, women's tennis, hockey, men's tennis, basketball, women's golf). These people make an exorbitant amount of money for playing a game....a game which they aren't even the best at.

Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE sports. I'm about ready to shoot myself right now because the only sport in season is baseball, and the Pirates suck. But the amount of money that these people make to be average is ridiculous. And all they do is provide some mild entertainment for us on the weekends. Hell most of these people don't even provide entertainment. When was the last time you ever saw Paul Goldstein in the finals at a major championship? Have you ever tuned in to see how Dudley Hart is doing? These people just show up every week and collect a pay check. Which is really the same thing that most people do, so why do they make 10 times as much as I do?

I firmly believe that the highest-paid people in the world should be teachers. Granted I'm a little biased since both my parents are teachers. But teachers are the ones who educate the next generation. If there were no teachers, we'd be back in Medieval Times, where only the clergy were literate. "But what about the average (and poor) teachers," you say? Well, why not treat them like professional athletes. They all get signed to 3-year contracts coming out of college. If they don't cut the mustard after 3-years, they get released. Schools could do trades, sign free-agents, the whole 9-yards. Maybe there'd even be fantasy teacher leagues. "With the first pick in the 2007 fantasy draft, I select Kimberly Mills - Special Education teacher, Moshannon Valley." Ok, maybe I crossed the line, but you get the point....

Victimless Crime - Follow up

First of all, I apologize to Lindsay for misquoting her on prostitution. I really don't know why she and I were talking about it anyway.

So here's the question: If prostitution was legal, and you were really down in the dumps...Couldn't find a job, Couldn't support your family, etc. Would you ever consider prostitution? Or at least porn? Post your answers in the comments.

I myself would never do either. If you're a gigalo, you're never going to get good-looking chicks. Lets face it, if they're good-looking, they wouldn't be calling you. Plus, as an out-of-shape, average looking guy, I don't think I'd get much business anyway.


Now with porn, it doesn't matter what you look like. If Ron Jeremy can do porn, then Sloth from "The Goonies" can do porn. But the thought of people that I know seeing me in those movies and doing God knows what while they're watching, is too much for me. Plus, I'm not a big fan on needles, so having to get an AIDS test every week doesn't appeal to me.

Victimless Crime

My coworker and fellow blogger Lindsay and I were talking today, and the subject of prostitution came up. The gist of the conversation was whether or not prostitution should be legal since it is a victimless crime. I'll leave it to Lindsay to go into more detail in her blog (my opinion: It should be legal. Whores and sluts need to make money too), but it got me thinking about another victimless crime: Gambling.

Congress recently passed a bill to "crack down" on internet gambling. This bill will make it illegal for banks and credit card companies to deposit money for a client into an internet gambling account. According to one Congressman, gambling is a "major problem in our society". Ok, so since its a major problem we should stop it. But wait, there was an amendment to the bill to allow online lotteries and off-track betting. And don't almost all states have their own lotteries? Some states, like Pennsylvania, even allow slot machines. So, gambling must only be problem if you are doing it outside one of these government sponsored venues. Apparently, if the government gets a cut of the money, then everything is ok. If not, then its a "major problem." So, I think I shot down this argument.

Another Congressman argued that its never been so easy for people to lose so much money so quickly. "Click the mouse, lose your house" was his slogan. Ok, I agree that is easier than ever for people to lose money gambling. You don't have to drive to a casino any more. You don't have to wait for a dealer to shuffle and deal cards. Everything is at your fingertips from the comfort of your own home. But, why does the government care? They let people smoke and drink themselves to death every day. And we're always told that its "your choice" to do or not do these things. If somebody wants to blow all their money online, let them. If they are degenerate enough to lose their life-savings, then so be it. My take is that if somebody wants to destroy themselves, they'll find a way to do it, regardless of what laws you place in front of them. Another point for me.

And don't give me "It's a moral issue." According to some people, gambling is immoral. The Bible says gambling is wrong. But how many churches do you know that have raffles for fund-raisers? How many churches have weekly BINGO? Again, it seems that gambling is moral if it benefits the church, but immoral any other way.

So, in conclusion, the government is full of shit and this is a completely stupid waste of tax-payer dollars. If you want to regulate it, fine. But don't outlaw it. Prohibition didn't work in the 20s and its not going to work now.

Worst Teammate

Former Pittsburgh Pirate and grade-A asshole Derek Bell was #6 on Maxim magazine's list of "12 Terrible Teammates" (http://www.maximonline.com/slideshows/preview.aspx?imgCollectId=106&src=gm135). Any jerk who thinks he shouldn't have to compete for his job after hitting .173 the previous year needs beaten. One of my favorite memories of him was going to a game at PNC Park and listening to him get heckled by a guy in the right field stands: "You can't hit with tight pants. You can't hit with baggy pants. Why don't you try no pants?"

Congratulations, Derek. It's nice to know that you're so terrible, the Pirates won't even sign you.

www.clownpenis.fart

There was a SNL skit a few years ago where a law firm was trying to get on the web and the only domain name available was www.clownpenis.fart. Obviously, this is not a real website, so if you clicked on the link, you are a moron. But I did find a list of real, poorly-conceived domain names. Here are my favorites:

Who Represents -- www.whorepresents.com
Pen Island -- www.penisland.net
Therapist Finder -- www.therapistfinder.com
Mole Station Native Nursery -- www.molestationnursery.com


For the complete list, go to http://independentsources.com/2006/07/12/worst-company-urls/

Green Eggs

I got to see one of my favorite bar bands, Green Eggs, last night a 4D's. As usual, they played a fun show, even though they did go a little overboard on the rap music. "Regulators", "Ice Ice Baby", and "Baby Got Back" in one night is a little too much for me to handle. Once again, I am resolved to someday start a band again, as this would be the coolest job in the world. If only my drummer had a drumset....

Several of the guys from the gym were there, so it was cool to talk to them outside of a sweaty, testosterone filled context. I also ran into my Little League coach, which was weird. I know that even ex-coaches have to drink somewhere, but I kept looking at him expecting to get the bunt sign.

NCAA 2007 - Games 2 & 3

I was really pissed at myself yesterday after losing to Arkansas in a game I should have one. I was passing like an idiot and my quarterback had 3 INTs. Plus, it didn't help matters any that my starting running back, Lex Hilliard, got injured for the game in the first quarter.

So, I had to come back strong this morning against Utah. My defense was awesome giving up only 141 yds, sacking the quarterback 5 times, causing 5 fumbles and 3 INTs. Jimmy Wilson, my nickelback, had 2 defensive TDs: a 54 yd fumble return and a 20 yd INT return. Lex Hilliard had another good performance (32 car, 169 yds, 1 TD) and Jason Washington finally had a good game at quarterback (14-21, 150 yds, 2 TDs, 1 INT) as I was able to cruise to my first blowout victory, 46-7.

So, Grizzly-nation is happy this morning as I'm now 2-1 and nearing the start of league play. If only I could convince some recruits to come to the barren wasteland of Montana....

NCAA 2007 - Game 1

I finally got around to playing a game on NCAA 2007 tonight. After 3 days of goofing around with my roster, checking out the new features, etc., it was time to see if I still had the magic.

Once again, I'm starting out with the Montana Grizzlies. I moved them into the WAC in place of Utah State, who I figured nobody would miss. My first game was at Wyoming, and luckily they weren't that good as I was a little rusty.

After a taking a boring 7-3 lead into the locker room, I came out firing in the 3rd quarter, racking up 21 points. Led by my star running back, Lex Hilliard (275 yds rushing, 3 TDs) I racked up 389 yards on the ground. My passing was attrocious (7-15, 80 yds, 2 INTs), but luckily I didn't need to throw much. My quarterback (Jason Washington) and fullback (Kevin Klaboe) each scored on the ground to give me a 35-10 victory. I even got the scrubs in for the last 3 minutes!

One of the cool new features of the game is the Momentum Meter. After every big play, the momentum shifts giving that team an advantage making it just like real life. This made the game a whole lot more interesting and I can't believe nobody thought of this before.

Motley Crue

I found out today that my second favorite band of all time, Motley Crue, is playing a show at the Post Gazette Pavilion with Aerosmith (probably somewhere in my top 20). The only problems are that tickets are way too expensive for me and I doubt many people will be interested in going with. So, if you'd like to go and have $125 dollars you'd like to let me borrow (with no expectation of ever getting it back) let me know.

Give You the Finger

After seeing the picture of Jerry Garcia's missing finger on Aaron's blog and playing volleyball against a guy with a missing finger last night, I got to thinking....How do they do fingerprints on these people? Do they just leave that spot on the card blank? Or do they dip the nub in some ink and roll it on? Are the a load of 9-fingered criminals running rampant?

Well, leave it to the internet to destroy my little fantasy of the perfect 9-fingered criminal race. According the FBI website (http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cjisd/takingfps.html), if a person is missing a finger, you simply don't print that finger and note the amputation (or "Missing at Birth"- for some reason the FBI makes a distinction). They also have instructions for how to print people with extra fingers, webbed fingers, split thumbs (what the hell is that), and fingerprinting in general.

Speaking of fingerprints....now that DNA seems to be the deciding factor in many criminal cases now (unless your name is O.J.), will DNA samples some day replace fingerprints? Will we all be required to go down to the police station and jerk off in a cup? I guess a blood sample would probably work too.....

Chappelle's Show

I'm sad to see Chappelle's Show go after only 2 1/2 seasons, but it did leave us with some priceless comedy. I found this website with the 11 best Chappelle's Show skits of all time. They have the full-length skits!!!

http://cracked.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=724

"I'm Rick James, Bitch!"

Rock Star: Supernova - Week 3 Results Show

Jenny got the boot tonight. After weak showings the past 2 weeks, not even a decent rendition of "Vaseline" by STP could save her. I agree with the choice as she was probably the worst one last night.

My brother was watching it with me, and brought up an interesting thought....What if a young David Lee Roth was trying out on this show? Can you imagine him all coked out with that dumb-ass grin on his face, as he runs around doing high-leg kicks and waving a samarui sword? It's amazing that this was the recipe for one of the greatest front-men in history.

Nickel for your thoughts?

I found an interesting article on CNN today about a new bill in Congress to get rid of pennies:

http://money.cnn.com/2006/07/18/news/penny/index.htm

My first thought was "Oh great. More meaningless legislation". But then I got to thinking...Do we really need pennies? When was the last time that you ever bought something for a penny? (And don't say penny-candy, because nobody in history has ever bought just one piece). The whole purpose of having a penny is to get rid of it. Whether it's to save room in your purse, or to take to a Coin Star for "real money", you just want it to leave your possession.

Plus, when you read that it actually costs 1.4 cents to even make a single penny, it becomes that much more pointless.

Rock Star: Supernova - Week 3 Review

After hearing the news that Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra are getting divorced, I was worried that he'd be too broke up to do the show. Damn, it looks like he made it.

Patrice
Song: "Helter Skelter" - The Beatles
Review: It's always tough to be a curtain-jerker, but she did alright. At least she put the guitar down. Of course, maybe she played it to cover up, because she looked fat this week. Anway, decent job on the song, but she just seems more like a weird, tatooed soccer-mom than a rock star.
Grade: B-

Josh
Song: "Come As You Are" - Nirvana
Review: This guy should have come as somebody else. He still sounds like Ray Ramono sucking helium. He had a chance to play a good rock song, but then he made it acoustic. If Train ever was looking for a lead singer, this would be it.
Grade: C-

Storm
Song: "Just What I Needed" - The Cars
Review: I want to bang this chick even more now. She was doing some really sexy stroking and humping of the mic stand.....oh yeah. I guess she sang ok, I wasn't paying attention to that. I will say that she really knows how to control the stage. She has some weird facial expressions, but oh well. After her performance, Tommy hinted that he wanted to see her naked. She replied, "Google". As soon as I'm done with this post, I'm going there.
Grade: B+

Lukas
Song: "Let's Spend the Night Together" - The Rolling Stones
Review: Not one of my favorite Stones songs, but he did it cool. He is the first person I've seen that's been able to pull off a Mick Jagger without looking like a cartoon. Dave said afterwards that he loves the arrogance, but I disagree. It's great to act like you're the best singer in the world, but you have to connect with the audience. You can't do that if you act like you're better than them as well.
Grade: B

Jill
Song: "All Right Now" - Free
Review: Truely an unmemorable performance, as I couldn't even remember it to give it a grade. I did notice that this chick is aging like 5 years every week. She looked like she was 35 tonight. I'd like to see her make the finals, just to see how she does with a walker. (Again, Tommy hit on a chick. Is he looking for a lead singer, or trying to get laid?)
Grade: B-


Ryan
Song: "Fortunate Son" - Creadance Clearwater Revival
Review: Great vocals, but he is just not a good front man. He should be a drummer, as not moving seems to be this guys thing. Besides, who cares about the drummer (right, Mills?). Anyway, Gilby nailed it when he said this guy looks like he doesn't want to be there.
Grade: B-

Phil
Song: "White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane
Review: Jason got on stage and played bass on this song. At one point, he started banging into Phil, which caused Phil to nearly sh*t his pants in terror. It's probably not good if you scare your lead singer. Anyway, Phil hit a couple flat notes at the end and had way too much head bobbing. But there were probably enough lousy performances to save him for another week
Grade: C+

Dana
Song: "It's My Life" - Bon Jovi
Review: For the first time since I started watching this show, I thought the house band came up short. They just weren't thick enough in the verses. This girl is an excellent singer, but she's just not rock and roll. She'll never have an off night, but she'd do better on American Idol
Grade: B-

Toby
Song: "Runaway Train" - Soul Asylum
Review: 3 for 3. Toby nailed it again this week, and is probably the front-runner at this point. Interesting song choice, as I just read that Soul Asylum is coming out with their first album since 1998. Dave must hate thing song though, as he looked like he was sleeping at one point.
Grade: A-

Magni
Song: "Plush" - Stone Temple Pilots
Review: He wore sunglasses this week, and while it was a good look for him, it made him look like Rob Halford. I thought the performance was ok, but he's no Scott Weiland. A tip for future performers: Don't pick a song that you can't at least match the level of the original singer on. Magni just didn't have it on the chorus.
Grade: B

Zayra
Song: "Everybody Hurts" - R.E.M.
Review: Apparantly, Zayra still hasn't heard a GNR, Motley Crue, or Metallica song. Maybe she listens to Methods of Mayhem, because she sucks as bad as they did. And was she wearing an evening gown? I'll stop being harsh and say that she did do a good job with this song, but pick some friggin' rock music!!
Grade: C

Jenny
Song: "Drive" - Incubus
Review: I like this chick less and less every week. I thought it was a good choice to do an Incubus song, but she picked the lamest one. Then she arranged it into almost a lounge act. Plain and simple: she sucks. (I've noticed that Jason has hardly spoken at all this week. Maybe they realized that whenever he opens his mouth, he sounds like an idiot.)
Grade: C-

Dilana
Song: "Zombie" - The Cranberries
Review: When I heard what song she was doing, I sat up in my chair. I thought "Here's a great female rock singer doing a great female rock song". I have to say I was a little disappointed. She still did a kick-ass job, but it wasn't as good as it could have been. She changed the melody at certain spots, and while I usually like that, it didn't fit here.
Grade: A-

My vote for the encore goes to Toby again, and even though Jenny sucked hard this week, I still vote for Zayra to get crated up in a box and sent back to Puerto Rico.

Brokeback to the Future

There are a lot of these out there, but this is my favorite:

http://gorillamask.net/bbf.shtml

WAL-MART Theories

Like it or not, WAL-MART is the new standard for shopping in the United States. It's almost a status symbol for your town; you know your town is cool if it has a WAL-MART. (Rumor has it that Bellwood will be soon joining the ranks of the elite, while sadly, Houtzdale will remain a piece of trash.)

Anyway, like many people, I do a lot of shopping at WAL-MART. I've been to WAL-MARTs all over Pennsylvania, at varying times of the day and night. With so much experience, I feel I am qualified to put forth the following theories:

Theory 1: At no single moment are all check-out lines open. The WAL-MART in Altoona has about 40 lines, and there are never more than 10 open at once. This usually leads to a demolition derby as people try to find the shortest line. It usually goes something like this:

1. Park your cart in line 1.
2. Leave your cart, run half the length of the store, and see that the guy in line 15 has two less items than the guy in line 1.
3. Run back, get your cart, and take it to line 15, only to find that three more people are now in line.
4. Repeat steps 1-3.

Theory 2: After finally picking a line, you will end up behind at least one (but probably all three) of the following people:

1. "The Old Couple" - God love these people. They've been through it all: 50 years of marriage, kids, sickness, health, etc. I just wish they would do me a favor and MOVE A LITTLE FASTER!!! Is it absolutely necessary to pay for everything in exact change? Could you maybe, just maybe, learn how to use a debit card? And where are you getting all this change, anyway? It's like you've been hording nickels and dimes since the Civil War.
2. "The Single Mom" - This is the woman who has 3 kids under the age of 8, and can't control a single one of them. The youngest is sitting in the shopping cart screaming at the top of her lungs. The mother doesn't realize this because she's yelling at her oldest brat ("Jimmy, I said no. Jimmy, no. If I have to tell you one more time, I'm going to beat you"). And that leaves the middle child to slobber on your shoes.
3. A nurse - It never fails that there is a nurse, still in her scrubs, buying groceries at WAL-MART. Is this where you want to be after working all day in a hospital? After assisting on an appendectomy, do you go, "Boy, I could go for Mac and Cheese tonight"?

Thank you for shopping at WAL-MART. Please come again.

NCAA Football 2007

Just 2 more days until the release of EA Sports NCAA Football 2007. For my money, this is the best sports game there is. So many schools, so many options....it's great. So who am I going to be this year? Will the University of Montana be making a return to greatness? Will Janesville University join the ranks of the NCAA elite? Or will it be the University of Altoona? Will Michael Nevling join his favorite school in the new "Back to School" mode? Or will I just take control of whoever Penn State is playing and beat the crap out of them? Only time will tell.

I'll be posting updates of the game and my seasons starting Tuesday. My sole purpose for doing this is to make my friend Aaron jealous so he breaks down and buys his own copy.

Greatest Athlete of All Time

If you don't think its Bo Jackson, then explain this:

http://gorillamask.net/tecmobo.shtml

Rock Star: Supernova - Week 2 Review

This show is American Idol for straight guys. I got hooked last season, mainly because I would love to get in a band and play that kind of music. I missed out on the first week, so I'll have to start my review with week 2....

Magni
Song: "My Generation" - The Who
Review: Strong vocal performance and he had control of the stage. Its always hard to lead off, but I thought he nailed it. Good song choice as well. I thought Jason was going to cream himself doing the bass solo. Tommy said it was ho-hum...he liked the ho, but wanted more hum. I think he meant he wanted a hummer from a ho.
Grade: A-

Jenny
Song: "Tainted Love" - Soft Cell
Review: I wouldn't consider "Tainted Love" a rock song. It'd be cool to do in a club, but this is the big time, honey. I did dig her arrangement as she started it slow, then kicked it in for the second chorus.
Grade: B

Jill
Song: "Violet" - Hole
Review: As soon as I saw the wedding dress and the flowers, I knew this performance was in trouble. She didn't do a bad job with the song, but she kept flailing around the stage and losing contact with the microphone. It doesn't matter how good you sing, if it sounds like you're talking through the drive-thru microphone at McDonalds, you're gonna suck. And please, don't try to be a dirty, slutty, heroine-junky like Courtney Love. Its just not a good image. You did get to see her underwear at the end, which was a plus.
Grade: C+

Zayra
Song: "You Really Got Me" - The Kinks
Review: It sucked. I hate the way she sings, the way she moves around the stage, the way she dresses, everything.Gilby had the best lines of the night when he told her "she had no clue what they were looking for in a singer" and asked "if she even owned any of their albums". And of course, she didn't. If you are between the ages of 18 and 35 and don't have at least one GNR, Motley Crue, or Metallica song somewhere around the house, you've either been in a coma, in a cave, at band camp, or in the mountains of Puerto Rico for the past 20 years. Apparently, she was in option #4.
Grade: F

Chris
Song: "Take Me Out" - Franz Ferdinand
Review: After being in the bottom 3 last week, Chris had to bring it. He picked a good song and vocally I thought he was ok, but he should have ruled the stage with that song. Thats a great song that people can get into, but I just didn't feel it from him.
Grade: B-

Dilana
Song: "Ring Of Fire" - Johnny Cash
Review: This chick just scares me. Her gypsy rendition of the Johnny Cash classic was cool, but it scares the bejesus out of me that she just stands there and stares directly into my soul. Her voice is a little funky; it kind of sounds like that recording toy they had in the early 90s that can slow down your voice ("Hi kids. We're home early."). But her she-devil image should keep her around for awhile.
Grade: B

Josh
Song: "With Arms Wide Open" - Creed
Review: This was a good song.....in 1999. It definitely doesn't stand the test of time and neither did this performance. He kind of sounds like Kermit the Frog with a head cold.
Grade: C+

Phil
Song: "If You Could Only See" - Tonic
Review: If you could only stop playing this song. I didn't like it when it came out and I don't like it now. Isn't this supposed to be a ROCK SHOW!?!?! He did make it sound like the actual Tonic track, so I give him props there. Jason's comment at the end about "Plant your feet and CRUSH IT", made me want to punch him.
Grade: B-

Storm
Song: "Surrender" - Cheap Trick
Review: Finally back to rock songs!! I'm not going to lie. I want Storm to have my children. There is something about her that is really sexy. I just want to tie her up, take her clothes off and.... Anyway, I thought this song was in too low of a key for her, and she kind of looked like an ogre stomping around the stage at times. But she and Dilana are the only girls who can pull off a guy song, so they might make it to the end.
Grade: B

Patrice
Song: "Heart-Shaped Box" - Nirvana
Review: I have to compare it to Jordace (sp?) last year, and Jordace killed her. And what is with the guitar? She played about 3 notes at the beginning, then played about 2 power chords in the verse. She doesn't even look comfortable holding it. For some reason, Dave told her she did a great job playing, so I'm sure we'll see it again next week.
Grade: B-

Lukas
Song: "Don't Panic" - Coldplay
Review: I guess he sang it well. I'm not a Coldplay fan, so I just counted down the minutes until it was over.
Grade: B

Ryan
Song: "Jumpin' Jack Flash" - The Rolling Stones
Review: Average performance of an average song. He doesn't have a real good look either. He's they guy that you forget about every week, which will keep him around for awhile, but he's got no shot at winning.
Grade: B-

Dana
Song: "Born To Be Wild" - Steppenwolf
Review: For the second week in a row, this chick proved she could SING! She's probably the best pure vocalist of the entire group, but she just doesn't have the look or attitude. She'd be a great singer for a local bar band, but can you really see her touring with Tommy Lee, one of the sleaziest rockers of all time? She'll hang around for awhile on her vocal talent, but she'll end up as this year's "Sweet Suzie".
Grade: B+

Toby
Song: "Somebody Told Me" - The Killers
Review: This guy gets it. Great song choice, great performance. I wanted to pick up my guitar and jam when he was finished. I'm still singing it. "Somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend...."
Grade: A+

So Toby gets my vote for the encore, and Zayra gets a vote to get crated up in a box and sent back to Puerto Rico.

First Post

Ok, I'm going to take another crack at this. Hopefully, it will last longer than my last one....

For those of you confused about the name, other than being a good excuse to drink, "5 o'clock Somewhere" was the name of the first Snakepit album.